The Definitive Moment

 

“And so I turned to my sister and smiled and asked this question
All we wanna know, is where the stars came from
But do we ever stop, ever stop to watch them shine?
All we wanna know, is where the stars came from
But do we ever stop, ever stop to watch them shine?”

Ungrateful eyes

By Jon Bellion

 

As an avid lover of Jon Bellion, I’ve come across this song several times. And each time I listen to the song, my mind always comes to ponder on these lines. Where the stars came from…do we ever stop to watch them shine? These lines may have different meanings to different people, but to me, it carries a different message.

Does it bother you that sometimes, our judgement of one person is defined in one moment of encounter? Imagine yourself getting on a bus in the wee hours of the morning. As the bus prepares to take off, a woman rushes on board. She is dressed in a skimpy dress; a hot red dress if we want to be exact. Her makeup is a mess and her hair is tied up in a messy bun. She staggers barefoot while she clutches her heels in her hands. As she staggers into the bus, you hear the jingle of the gold anklet on her ankles. She takes the seat in front of you and begins to call someone named “Johnny” who she helplessly begs for a huge sum of money.

Ashawo

I know that is the first word that pops up in your head. To you she is probably a useless girl who is too lazy to get an actual job like everyone else. Now, what if I tell you that she in fact had a good job. What if I tell you that she lost her job a few months ago because she was accused of a fraudulent scandal in the workplace. What if I tell you that in those few months her mother was diagnosed with cancer. What if I tell you that in those few months, her fiancé was found cheating on her with another girl in a bar across the road near her home. Now she is left alone with no means to generate money for herself and her sick mother. This leaves her no choice but to turn to prostitution. But of course, you wouldn’t know this. How could you when you had already dismissed her as a worthless prostitute. Obviously, not all situations are these dramatic, but you get the message I’m trying to tell.

To me, my greatest definitive moment was definitely in high school. In my JSS1, there so happened to be this boy who happened to be the talk of town: lady town that is. He happened to swoon most of the girls with his good looks, natural charm and athletic abilities. In my mind I had already brushed him off as “the golden boy.” The guy who could pull any girl and any “medal” he wanted. Fast forward five years and this “golden boy” happened to sit behind me. Being the introvert I was, I didn’t bother getting to know him while he on the other hand was trying to be friendly with me. During the course of the academic session, I found my definitive moment of him changing. I began to see parts of him, I never expected to see. The compassionate part of him that was bursting with love; love for his little sister and his mother. I saw the hopeful side of him, never giving up on the things and people he believed in. I saw a new layer of him, one that not a lot of people got to see. I could go on and on about this young man, but I get he isn’t the main piece in this story.

In life, we judge. We place harsh judgements on people, without trying to consider their story. We scream statements like “He did that! She is this!” without asking ourselves why he did that or why she is that. We tend to judge people by the chapters of their lives we stumble upon instead of trying to read the whole book of their story.

We try to put people in boxes. Boxes like “snob”, “depressed”, “crazy”, “rude” and lots more without even trying to consider why they are like that. Chances are, you probably encountered them on their bad day. On a day when things just weren’t going their way. And instead of diving deeper, we simply toss them into those categorical boxes and move on.

So, I end this post with a few questions.

When will you break this definitive mindset?

When will you stop judging people by one single encounter?

 

I know I’m not perfect and I am still trying to unlearn this action. So maybe you can join Jon Bellion and I. Maybe we can all stop to watch the stars. We can stop to watch them shine.

 

 "When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself."-Earl Nightingale.

 

 

 

Lots of Love,

Wendy.